Tuesday, July 6, 2010

#1: White People

Not only am I a self-hating American, I'm also a self-hating white guy. And I am really white - English, Scottish, Irish and Swedish. There's a bit of Native American blood in there, but what annoyingly white person doesn't say that. White people have ruined America. Their general disregard for anything resembling cultural traditions, their mistrust of nearly every group, worldwide, that's not A) white, B) Protestant, or C) capitalist, and their general arrogance about American superiority has turned the country into the snotty prima donna of the world.

Think about it. White America ruins everything. I mean, how many fundamentalist, gun-toting, flag-waving, aggresively ignorant jerks do you know who aren't white. White Americans blow up abortion clinics, protest war-veteran funerals, sit in isolated cabins making bombs, chop up people and put said people in freezers for winter stews. White Americans revile soccer, are solely responsible for gentrification projects, and have pretty much ruined music and film by exploiting stereotypes of other races. Without white people, America might just be an alright place to live, but so long as we have a white majority, you can forget about improving a crippled education system or lessening environmental rape because, hell, white people love shitty education and raping the land - they practically invented both.

I mean, think about some of the biggest douchebags in the good ol' US of A: Glenn Beck, white. Michael Moore, white. Nancy Pelosi, white. Sean Hannity, white. Jeffrey Dahmer, white. Bill O'Reilly, white. Rush Linbaugh, white. Ben Rothlisberger, white. Granted, there are some major douchebags of color out there, but I'm pretty sure that if I think hard enough I can attribute their douchey-ness to white America (you know, would Jesse Jackson be such a douche if it weren't for white people? I don't think so).

That brings me to the real reason Americans - white Americans - suck so hard: their very real, albeit ridiculous, fear of brown people. Since the beginning of the European discovery of America, white folks on this continent have been incredibly fearful of anyone who isn't white. First, they brought diseases with them that wiped out 95% of indigenous peoples in the Americas- wiped them out in a span of about 100 years (1492-1608). Then, to really screw them over, the ancestors of future white Americans began a 300-year campaign of cheating, slaughtering and generally giving the shaft to the remainder of those indigenous groups. F'n A. But, destroying the cultures that were already here wasn't enough for these jack-offs. Nope. They went to another continent, rounded up hundreds of thousands of brown people living there, brought them over to America and THEN proceeded to shaft those people for about 300 years.

Finally, in the 1950s and 60s, some white folks (mostly Jews and Catholics, so they technically don't count as "white America"), realized that what was happening to black people in America really sucked and so decided to join up with some pretty-damn-awesome black folks and do something about the 300-year-long oppression. Thank God. Though, their efforts didn't go forward without major opposition from a large population of white Americans - assholes who finally decided to take their efforts underground so as not to come off as real jerks in the global eye. However, they're coming out from under their rocks to, yet again, express their open disdain for another group of brown folks ... Hispanics.

Seriously, if it were, say, a bunch of French-Canadians ... wait, no, because white Americans despise all things French as well. Okay, let's say a bunch of regular Canadians were coming into the US to work landscaping jobs or harvest fruit and veggies - a bunch of regular white Canadians - do you think there'd be such a fuss about building a wall to keep out the Canadians? Nope. All the whiteys would be happy as pigs in poo to have their northern brethren coming down to cut grass and pick fruit. But that's not the case with the Mexicans. Nope. Mexicans are brown and therefore evil.

I didn't even mention the internment camps for Japanese Americans - some of whom had been in the US for generations ... some of whom were the families of Japanese Americans serving in the armed forces in WW II. Jesus, white Americans suck so hard.

The list goes on and on and on. I mean, sometimes I really hate being white because I'm immediately associated with one of the most dominant groups of ducktards the world has ever known. Yep, white Americans even make things crappy for other white Americans. Jesus.

ADDENDUM: After reading this post, a friend of mine pointed out something interesting in line with this whole "white Americans suck" thing. The majority of the creeps caught on To Catch a Predator are "religious" white males ... wow http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwFr_VcGMKQ


  1. Canadians going into the U.S. to work? You've got to be kidding - most of them don't want to work here. Some years ago, I happened across a property in my area owned by a hockey player who had built four magnificent houses. The finishing touches were being put on the landscaping - by a small army of Mexicans, legally imported with summer work permits, because the local contractors couldn't find any Canadians for the job.

    And don't confuse all things French with French-Canadians. My neighbours also can't stand mimes and Jerry Lewis.

  2. Also:
    Women til after WW1
    All laborers
    All the renters out there
    But still, here we are not locked up yet.
    Isn't that a good thing about America?

  3. Canada would love to have you, or you could try Afghanistan, I hear they can help you with your white guilt.

  4. Wow...

    but hey what's wrong with Micheal Moore?
    He's at least pointing out some things that really suck too, right?

    1. I agree, I have no problem with Michael Moore, he is not part of the problem.

  5. @Homeworks... feeling a little guilty about the truth there mate????

    You guys think you have issues??? I live in South Africa... I think I'll write a post like this on what's going down here like this one...


  6. Id like to point out how something like this is okay but if you had written about any other "race" it would be a problem...

    This post is pretty racist...

  7. Ha! Ha! Alex T., it can't be "racist" unless it's about a MINORITY and white people are the majority in America and we deserve to be skewered by this guy because we do suck!

    1. That was incredibly racist and even more ignorant. It's racist when it targets an ethnic group you imbecile. Last time I checked, being the majority (by the way that's on the slow decline, bud.) doesn't change that. I could point out things I hate about blacks, whites, yellows, browns, etc etc.

      As for the guy that wrote this article. The first thing you do is point out certain groups of people that you don't like, who are also white. You know, people do that too with blacks and every other race under the sun: it's called being generalizing. You're using a certain group as your main example for an entire race. Then he goes on to talk about the times blacks were enslaved (heeeeere we go again). Buddy boy, let me tell you a secret: slavery isn't white made. Slavery was a very, very common trade "back in the day", whites didn't invent it, and they sure weren't the last to abolish it. There's still countries in the world where people are being enslaved. He continues to mention the encampment of Japanese Americans, which, so far, actually has the most validity as an argument in this entire article, because it was so recent, and it shows what America is indeed capable of under pressure. It is deplorable, oh yes, but don't think good ol' US of A is the only country that commits these kind of nasty things. There are some things the media doesn't cover because it's either been going on for a long time, or it's just "politically correct" to report on about other countries and their violation of human rights. Read up on that. Lastly, your story about canadians was pretty random, but sure. I've seen plenty of times where Americans, either in ignorance or in friendly jest make fun of french folks, I myself being french. I don't really care since anyone that is actually ignorant enough to start regurgitating that garbage at me has no real thought process behind his speech, and their opinion is therefore worthless to me.

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. Simple. His post isn't "racist" by your definition because he states he is white. Blacks write about problems with blacks and you just agree. Do you define that as racist and publicly defend blacks?

      1.a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that ONE's OWN RACE is SUPERIOR and has the right to rule others.

      2.a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination. The power he was talking about.

      3.hatred or intolerance of ANOTHER race or other races.

      So nope he's not being racist, he's critiquing.

  8. I would have figured the number one reason why Americans suck is ignorance, their pride, and lack of respect for the rest of the world.

  9. Some decent points but no! I'm a totally white person and I was just born in '87 and had nothing to do with the treatment of other colors and I have nothing to do with current asshats like Beck and Palin. Honestly, it pisses me off that I get to be half defined by such dooshbags. Besides, try finding a white American who won't give you time of day, lead a good conversation and offer a cigarette. Fellow Americans tend to be generous and good to be around; don't let our politicians share their bad rep with us!

  10. I think europeans suck because they're very jealous of our success and their inferiority complex is so large that they cling to baseless stereotypes in order to feed their psuedo-elitism.

    They also kill each other over their one boring sport and still have figurehead monarchs, which are both hilariously sad in their own right.

  11. I live in the South-east of USA. I'm white immigrant from Northern Europe. I have an accent that I suppose only Mother could love. Majority (70-90%?) of contractors and service providers never return services and second calls to me., It means I have severe problems finding someone who will work on my house installing, fixing, repairing, even selling to me. Some shops owned by Whites refuse to sell to me or to provide services to me! They talk nice, but then nothing happens! I thought all these White "Americans"a re crazy! Yet recently I told a Black craftsman that I got fence installed and it was screwed up, so he asked me was the installer Mexican and I said yes, and he said, see what I mean? So is this a problem of Whites or Americans (USA) in general or perhaps a universal issue?

  12. "I think europeans suck because they're very jealous of our success and their inferiority complex is so large that they cling to baseless stereotypes in order to feed their psuedo-elitism."
    - Jealous of you success? HA! You have no success, your whole country is run by Jews who despise you. All your 'success' is false. They cling to stereotypes? Haha, America clings to stereotypes more than anyone in the world, case and point: this blog, and the "self-hating white guy'.

    "They also kill each other over their one boring sport and still have figurehead monarchs, which are both hilariously sad in their own right."
    Kill each other? I've never seen it. I've seen more bad behaviour at sporting events from Americans than anyone else. As for the Monarchs, that's only like 2 European countries that have those. At least it's better than USA's puppet 'presidents' and 'democracy'. Which is the saddest example of politics anywhere.

    As for women, who cares? They were never treated as harshly as people say. Stop acting like women are their own race or something. White women are just as bad (if not worse) than white men so give it a rest.

  13. You are an ignorant son of a bitch. First of all, Mexicans and Hispanics are not a race nor an ethnicity. The former one is a nationality and the other one is an ambiguous term created by Yanks to put every Spanish speaker as the "same" people. Mexicans/Hispanics can be white, black, Asian, etc.

    Sources: I'm a white Mexican of Mediterranean background and YES there are white Mexicans you dirty Yank. You sound quite ignorant talking about Mexicans and Latin Americans as being all "brown". You need to get out more of your dirty country you pathetic Yank.

  14. You can easily assemble a list of things to hate about any country or its residents.

    In all honest opinion, compared to other countries, America DOES NOT SUCK, it ROCKS!

    White people make the world go around.
    That's why it is OK for whites to act superior and impose ideas upon others. Without whites, the rest of the people would already cut each others' heads off and eat them.

    Name a country that has whites as a minority and things are going well? Like everyday stuff, not getting killed on the way to the grocery store..

    The law would not protect you there.

    Go live in the Middle East, or Asia and eat shit (or dog).

    P.S.: I'm Russian.

    1. Japan, rich and crime statistics are relatively low. China, rich and crime is very low. South Korea right now providing awesome tech and science plus entertainment, Ivory Coast, vacation spot,Bahamas, Virgin Islands, Brazil is beautiful don't believe the movies,
      Veitnam has Americans moving there every year,
      Afghanistan young population is slated by economists to have a boom if interfered with,
      CBS Top Ten countries to live include Singapore and India
      and as for Africa try looking up Libya,Seychelles,Mauritius,Tunisia,Algeria,Gabon, Equatorial Guinea and Cape Verde for some of the worlds most beautiful land and highest GDP's per capita proving that even after we took their oil diamond gold and silver the land so rich they had enough to learn to capitalize on it themselves.

  15. I am European and I also think America sucks. I have been there, grew up in an all-American entourage in my own country, since I was a Mormon. I do not respect the American culture, and I find anyone from there, be they White, Black or Asian, as arrogant and ignorant. It's not even a matter of race, it's just the culture.

    America indeed sucks and I can only tell you that the world does not respect you, and we are all sick of you.

    We are waiting for China to beat you. Frankly, better China than you.

    I completely agree with the author of this article.

    And someone said that women in USA don't have it as bad as one might think. I beg to differ. USA is one of the most racist and misogynist countries out there. Feminism didn't change much. Maybe on the legislature level, because the society has gone more backwards regarding the women. Men still are sexist and disrespectful of women as ever before. And the violence against women over there is rampant!

  16. moreover the femininity in Us is so cut off from the beginning and you can see on the street everyday.

    There is no beauty, its merely just a concept in Us.
    everything is destroyed here - and becomes plain, dull, superficial,.......BORING.!!
    and please don't tell me about Asia or Africa...

    I have been there many times and there is such a respect and a warmess in the people that you can only dream about it in the States!

    not to mentio the quality of services & goods.
    you pay lots of money in a restaurant just for an average meal, and the lifestyle is WAY better in any Europeans Countries

  17. white people also find solutions and medical cures that the whole world benfits from.

    1. That is true, and that is a plus in their column. But, politically, and on the issue of gun control, they are dead wrong.

  18. Thank you for your self-deprecating essay. The best way to make white americans suck less is interracial marriage...

  19. This had to be the least tasteful of your bloggs. America doesn't suck because of "white" people anymore than it suck because of "black, brown, or yellow" people. The #1 reason why America sucks is the people as a whole. There is to much ignorence in the air and its really starting to show that not one single American soul knows what the fuck to do next. America is like a living being... it started dieing as soon as it was born.

  20. Yeah, Americans suck. They are what makes America suck.

    1. The country wouldn't be here without white Americans. So...

  21. I agree. I just listened to the blowhard, Newt Ginghrich and some white female Congressperson talk about upholding the 2nd Amendment and guns, guns, guns! White people (Americans) do suck and they are dangerous. I will take my chances living in NYC, where whites are the minority. Oh, and by the way, I am white as can be...Irish Catholic (well, not WASP).

  22. I agree white America suck completely the economy is not coming back I feel like they are using this country as an European puppet testing out everything they can. The reason why they want America to sink is because the minority has exploded in the last 40 yrs and machines are taking over all the factory jobs. That won't stops from growing and their purposely destroying our schools the reason why he uses white America as an example because white America having the most advanced people in hiring positions in that social bracket knowing they have the power to change the boundaries keeping the dark skin at bay and they chose not to is hilarious but white america is racist America and this country is going to end In a civil war no peace for the rich.

  23. Or for the white and best believe white America can not go toe to toe with racial groups because we outnumber you guys and is not like years ago where the whites took advantage of the kindness everybody is ready to kill a cracker. For the past disgusting history for the you did to this beautiful land and for the killing you didi with native Americans sooner or later you will all pay. Wether you guys are going pay generously or forcefully will be your decision but our action

  24. God, I feel like it's 1965 again and I'm back at RCCC in Suffern NY again listening to some SDS rant. Please, grow up and realize that all races suck to some degree. For example, if a meteor were racing toward the earth that was the size of Bergen County, what society would you call upon to blow the thing up before it turned us into amoebae; the Hopi Indians or the white Americans, or the Chinese for that matter. God, I hate defending America, since if I could afford it, I'd move to Singapore tomorrow, but what's fair is fair. Yes Americans suck, but not just the "whites," everybody does. We're undereducated, decidedly violent and drug addlepated, and those are our good points. As far as how we got to this point, I think everyone's to blame by now. We keep electing people with Ivy League schools to run things, so what do you expect? Harvard and Yale have every advantage but a good dose of reality. Incidentally, if you should read this, answer me this: since you're so gung ho about every ethnic identity but your own, did you or anyone close in your family ever marry outside of your race? I'm betting that the answer is negative. You see, this is the thing about you so-called liberals is that you're not so liberal when it involves something personal. I've always been fairly conservative in my view of the world. That's not to say I'm necessarily conservative politically, because I generally back anyone who furthers my own financial agendas. But I guarantee that when it comes to getting along with people who are not like me, I would make you look like Adolph Hitler. My BEST friends and possibly my only friends have come from such diverse places as PR, Lesotho, Kerala India and Bogota Columbia and guess what? They were just as screwed up as the rest of us. You've got to get this notion out of your head that Caucasians are the only people who screw over other people. The fact is, if given the opportunity everyone screws over someone who the conquer, it's in the human DNA. I really think you need to grow up and see the world as it really is.